Jordan says “Avery is ready to be picked up”. Right away my mind jumps to “picked up from where” or “what fun place are we taking him”. But he just means his urn is ready to be picked up from the funeral home. My angel baby’s urn is a beautiful baby block. It will be beautiful as the center piece for Avery’s corner in the living room. I haven’t left the house much in the last two weeks but this was my only opportunity to bring my son home. 

Ten days since I had to say hello and goodbye to you sweet little man. I keep waiting for this veil people tell me will lift and although I will not get over it,  some sense of normalcy will return. The concept I’ve struggled with the most during this tragic time is the term “lost pregnancy”. Lots of books and resources refer to what happened to me as this. I didn’t lose my pregnancy or my baby and I have to get my self to stop saying that. My baby died so that he could go to Heaven to be God’s angel. I was too good a mama to him…